its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The Olympian is in my bed
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