wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize