Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
