I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you would pick up someone in the library
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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