Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
