No awkward lesbian experiences without me
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize