people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
