i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
