THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
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Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
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I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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