i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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