He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
