...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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