just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
two words...techno handjob
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
