put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
