get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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