Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
