At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
and she was petting her beer can
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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