Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
