Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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