I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
