listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
