he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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