those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
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