billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
