I feel like abortions should bother me more
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize