That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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