I'm so fucking centered right now
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
