are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
