I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize