Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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