its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Someone signed my nipple.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize