I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
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I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
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best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize