This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
