I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
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No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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