So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
