Your face is a jimmy john
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
