Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
