Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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