Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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