Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
