garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he shaved USA in his pubs
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
