If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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