remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
