I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
