I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
