It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
