hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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