thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I am one with the molecules
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
