Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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