only if we run a train.
done.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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