He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
