my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
