So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I want a musical about memes.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
