Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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