Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
